My comment to this person who wrote the letter.
Adding to the advice from the response:
Yes, and …
I would stress the importance of not hiding the actual quality of the situation from your growing child. Of course, it appears that the B or not-B appears a very significant aspect of what is arising in your universe.
Be open with your child in the manner he/she will be able to understand and comprehend with respect to their age. And foster the discussion if it comes up as you all grow in life. Honor what comes up for them, their questions and feelings. Honor your own feelings and thoughts as well, even as it may be difficult, as you may be sad or angry.
Though the issue may be bringing up very touchy issues for yourself and partner, I would not suggest sweeping them under the rug or disqualifying that there is some sort of difference due to you feeling there should not be a difference. The difference is already manifest in the issue itself. This does not mean things have to go any particular way, or that mother and child cannot love each other just as thoroughly as any. It only means that while we attempt to change, we must also address what is actually there, what is actually occurring.