On your LEFT!! — The smug.

Silly Sunday andecdotal break from the Philosophical drudgery.

I am (un) fortunate to live in an area where people dress up in their colorful spandex and ride their bikes around town.

This morning, I brought my dogs up to the giant dog park up here on the Mesa. And it is also coincidentally a kind of juncture where various paths cross and go out into the plain or over by the lake.

One of the conventions of riding your bike around on a multi use path is that when a cycle list is coming up behind a person they yell “on your left!” Or “On your right!” and the person who is walking thus knows which side the bicyclist is going to pass on and so the person who is walking knows to move over to the other side.

and what prompted this post was I witnessed a complete failure of the convention. 😁

So you get to hear my two cents about it.

First off, I think the whole cycling spandex bike helmet fashion whatever is an utter pomposity. If you’re riding your bike to go to work or on an errand or something, that’s great, ride on the streets like every other vehicle. And most do, for sure.

It’s really these recreation, sports cycle lists that I have an issue with.

But it may not be what you think.

I am left-handed. And because I’m left-handed and was raised in a generation prior to what I think is the more open minded liberal education system of our day (lol), I have been traumatized over which way is left and which way is right.

And this is because I remember as a child the mantra of how to remember which is your left hand in which is your right hand. Maybe some of you have experienced this kind of oppression?

What did the teachers tell us as a little saying to remember which is our left and right?

Well for me it was: “you write with you right hand.”

Now, I attribute that phrase to my lifetime trauma of direction. To this day, it doesn’t matter which side anyone says, for example “it’s on your right”, for example “The hallway to the right”, or “Click the prompt on the bottom left corner” or “turn right at the next light”, I will invariably question which ever side I decide that it is. If someone says “right” It doesn’t matter which side I think at first, I always question whether or not that is actually the correct side, inthis case the right side. Which ever side I turn to when someone tells me left or right I always think or I always question whether or not it is actually the side they meant. And then often enough, I will decide which is the actual side they mean, for example “the right side”, and sometimes it’ll actually be the left side that I’ve decided upon after going back-and-forth in my head about how to determine which side is my right and which side is my left. It doesn’t matter what convention or what rubric I use to try and remember; for example, when you hold your hands up your forefinger and thumb will spell the letter “L” and so you know that that’s your left hand. That doesn’t work well for me because I’ll turn my other hhand the other way and see and “L” and think that that’s my left hand and question that as well.

Like I said, I’m traumatized.

So it is particularly annoying when I’m walking down the path and I hear a little bell and then someone yelling out “on your right!” Because no matter which way I’m thinking is the right side, I find myself faced in a conundrum of whether or not the person is going to pass by me on my right side or whether I’m supposed to move to the right side, along with just the general confusion of which side is my actual right side.

And why don’t the biker just ring thier bell or whatever and then pass on the side that is open ?

I don’t think it really matter that they say left or right Becuase it seems most people have the same problem I have.

I get a sudden and unsettling anxiety that i’m going to get run over, I’m breaking a sort of standard 10 commandment sin, and then I’m ignorant fool, and this asshole could’ve easily gone around me.

That’s why: the bikers always figure they are the most intelligent, have the right of way, are the coolest, are the healthiness. It’s like announcing “I’m smug”.

https://southpark.cc.com/clips/104283/smug-2006

🤣

So this kid at the path by this dog park that I’m at is walking and he has headphones on. The big kind of headphones that look like you’re going to land a plane. And here comes spandex bike rider up behind him and he brings his bell and goes “on your left”. The kid is walking on the left of the path. This cycle list is fast approaching, and he yells even louder “on your left!!” And the kid is all groove into his tunes, taking in the day. And the cyclist is still going fast and you can hear him starting to grunt because he’s getting pissed off and then he has to stop suddenly behind the kid and almost pretty much runs into the kid and stops before the kid realizes there is a biker behind him. And the cyclist kind of lets out some exclamations about how the kid is an idiot. When all he had to do was go on the right side around the kid.

That episode just affirms my strong conviction that most people are just plain fucking morons. 🤘🏾🌈🌠

3 Comments

  1. 🤣🤣🤣 morons they are indeed! Funny you mentioned that you are a left handed. Originally I was a left handed and my grandfather forced me to change and then I became right handed. Although I can right with both hands, but the right one is faster of course, I can’t identify myself as a pure right handed and for a while, the teacher’saying that you refer to made me confused because I could actually write in both hands! Your post made me laugh 🤣

    1. Lol. My mom told of left handed kids when she was growing up, that the teachers would tie their left hand behind their back to the seat so they’re have to learn right handed. 🤣

      What method was used on you ?

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